Psychology Wiki

This wiki's URL has been migrated to the primary fandom.com domain.Read more here

READ MORE

Psychology Wiki
Advertisement

"Yes i have often felt really really tired of being a nice guy while the rest of the world treats me like crap. I always hate having my niceness being taken advantage of, and i just am tired of not being appreciated for being nice. I also dislike the fact that people look at me differently just because i act nicely towards people and because i treat people with the respect and kindness that i feel that they deserve. It definately can get to you, and it can definately make you just feel so tired that you no longer wish to treat people good and no longer want to be a Mr. Nice Guy."

This is an example of a person being inefficient at their social transactions the result of which is giving away too much. Typical symptoms include feeling like a nice guy followed by feeling tired, exhaused, refentful and bitter. Contrary to popular belief, being a jerk does not solve the problem of being a nice guy. The only thing that solves the nice guy syndrome is learning to properly conduct the social transaction. It means that you don't have to be a jerk, but you do have to realize certain transactions or certain people, or situations that cause you to give away too much and costs you social energy.

Being a nice guy is like having a leak in your social bank account. Being a jerk will not really solve it. That is just like robbing people from their social bank accounts. It get's you more attention in the short term bacause people are trying to get their energy back, but it will not ultimately win you friends and influence people. In the worst case scenarion, you can still be a nice guy while being a jerk at the same time if certain specific nice guy transaction continue to happen and the leak is still there.

Being a nice guy for too long, will either make you bancrupt and prevent you from going out into further social settings. Or cause you to become a thief or a jerk or also called a vampire which tries to get excessive energy from others. In the long term, neither being nice or a jerk works realy well. The only true solution is knowing the dynamics of social transactions to have the ability to conduct those transactions with people fairly and efficiently with a surplus and a gain for both parties.

See also

Social transaction

External links

[Nice Guy Syndrome In Social Interaction Dynamics]

Advertisement