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Non-penetrative sex (also known as outercourse, petting, heavy petting, dry sex, and dry humping) is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, or oral penetration, as opposed to penetrative aspects of those activities. The terms mutual masturbation and frottage are also used, but with slightly different emphases. NPS and outercourse are rather new terms, which is why such practices are sometimes still called "intercourse."
The term "outercourse" is something of a misnomer, as it contrasts "outer" with "inter" but the "inter" in "intercourse" means "between two people" and the appropriate term to contrast "outer" is "inner". Thus, "inter" does not describe being inside the body.
Types of non-penetrative sexual activity
Non-penetrative sex includes but is not limited to the following examples:
- Axillary intercourse
- (slang: "bagpiping", in reference to the underarm manner in which bagpipes are played; "directing traffic", or "pit-wank", a variant of the term "tit-wank", are also terms for axillary intercourse) a sexual variant where the penis is inserted in the other person's armpit.
- Erotic massage
- rubbing all over, with or without oil.
- stimulating genitals with the feet.
- penis-to-penis rubbing.
- stimulating the penis with the hand.
- Intercrural sex
- also known as interfemoral intercourse, which is a type of irrumation, where one partner places a phallic object or penis between the other partner's thighs.
- Intergluteal sex
- where one partner places a phallic object or penis into the other partner's buttock cleavage or gluteal cleft.
- Mammary intercourse
- when one partner rubs a phallic object or penis between the partner's breasts.
- Stimulation of nipples
- stimulating the nipples, usually orally or manually.
- type of stimulation of male genitals popular in Japanese brothels: the woman rubs the man's penis with her hands, thighs and labia majora.
- vulva-to-vulva rubbing, commonly known by its "scissoring" position.
- stimulating the vagina or anus with the fingers.
- Oral sex
- the stimulation of the genitalia by the use of the mouth, lips, tongue, teeth or throat.
A number of BDSM activities do not involve penetration. However, they are not generally considered under the same heading because they are not considered substitutes for "having sex."
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Mutual masturbation is a sexual act where two or more people stimulate themselves or one another (also called manual intercourse) sexually, usually with the hands. This may be done in situations where the participants do not feel ready, physically able, that it is socially appropriate, or simply do not wish, to have full sexual intercourse but still wish to have a mutual sexual act. It is also done as part of the full repertoire of sexual intercourse, where it may be used as an interlude, as foreplay or simply as an alternative to penetration. For some, it is the primary sexual activity of choice above all others. It enables the individuals to see face to face and leaves the hands free to caress, as seen in frottage (see below).
Mutual masturbation can be practiced by those of all sexual orientations. If used as an alternative to penile-vaginal penetration, the aim may be to preserve virginity or to prevent pregnancy. Some may choose it because it achieves sexual satisfaction without penetration, possibly seeing it as an alternative to casual sex.
The techniques of mutual masturbation resemble those of simple masturbation, with the exception that other persons are involved. The range of participation can be as simple as two participants masturbating in the same room at the same time without any physical contact to a group of people all stimulating one another. In the case of two participants, one partner may stimulate the other, each partner may stimulate the other or themselves, or one may stimulate both themself and their partner.
Mutual masturbation might result in one or more of the partners achieving orgasm. If no bodily fluids are exchanged (as is common), mutual masturbation is a form of safer sex, and greatly reduces the risk of transmission of sexual diseases. As such, it was encouraged among gay men by some safer sex organizations in the wake of the AIDS outbreak of the 1980s, as an alternative to anal or oral sex.
Partnered manual genital stroking
Partnered manual genital stroking to reach orgasm and expanded orgasm are practices done with a partner. Both people focus on creating and experiencing an orgasm in one person. Typically in this usually safe sex practice, one person lies down pant-less, while his or her partner sits alongside. The one partner sitting uses his or her hands and fingers (typically with a lubricant) to slowly stroke the clitoris or penis and genitals of the partner. Expanded orgasm as a mutual masturbation technique is said to create orgasm experiences more intense and extensive than what can be described as, or included in the definition of, a regular orgasm. It includes a range of sensations that include orgasms that are full-bodied, and orgasms that last from a few minutes to many hours. The term was coined in 1995 by Patricia Taylor. However, this technique is not without risk of contracting STDs, in particular HIV. A person using his or her finger, with a small wound, to stimulate a woman's genitals can be infected with HIV found in her vagina's fluids; likewise regarding a man's semen containing HIV which could infect a partner who has a small exposed wound on his or her skin.
Frottage, more commonly known as dry humping, is the act of achieving sexual pleasure with a partner or partners, whether naked or clothed, without penetration. This can include using almost every part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs, and sexual organs. Frottage can include mutual genital rubbing, sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing, and most of the other forms of non-penetrative sex.
There are many reasons a couple may choose frottage. The most common reasons are as a form of foreplay before intercourse or as a method to achieve sexual gratification without the more sexually explicit (and in some circumstances, forbidden) oral, vaginal or anal sexual intercourse. Often, young people will use frottage as an earlier stage of sexual intimacy before more explicit contact is desired, or as a substitute to intercourse to maintain a higher degree of chastity. Also, frottage can be done without getting undressed. Panties, bras, pantyhose, socks, or stockings can aid in sexual arousal and stimulation.
Lap dances often involve clothed frottage. A modern dancing style which involves partners rubbing their clothed bodies on one another is called "grinding," "freaking," or "Sandwich dancing" . This is sometimes referred to in Spanish as "perrear" ("dogging"), a term that came from Puerto Rico and later became the famous dance for reggaeton.
The term frottage derives from the French verb frotter, "to rub."
Distinctions in terminology
Three distinct terms derive from the French verb frotter, "to rub," that are not to be confused:
- The sexual act, involving rubbing, described in this section
- a paraphilia involving obsession with frottage or performing frottage nonconsensually (e.g., pressing one's genitals against a stranger on a crowded subway). This behavior was once called "frottage" but that use is no longer accepted.
- Refers exclusively to male-male genital rubbing without penetration. Confusingly, "frottage" is sometimes shortened to "frot" in informal use.
Part of the reason for the confusion is that consensual frottage may have once been considered a perversion and lumped in with non-consensual frotteurism. This view is no longer widely held. The 1995 book Eccentric and Bizarre Behaviors by Louis R. Franzini and Jon Squires declares frottage, in the appropriate context, to be a perfectly normal sexual behavior for anyone "male or female, homosexual or heterosexual."
- dry humping
- two people engaging in clothed sex in a manner that simulates intercourse.
- a colloquialism for dry humping. A portmanteau of scratching and humping.
- grinding, dubbing, freaking
- a modern dancing style that involves partners rubbing their clothed bodies on one another.
- frotteur geek
- a colloquialism for a person with a devotion to a typical scenario for frottage.
- Princeton rub, Ivy League rub, and so on
- slang terms, referring to male-male frot or interfemoral intercourse or both, presumably surviving from the days when these colleges only admitted men. W. H. Auden was proud of having been the first person to use the terms "Princeton rub" and "Princeton first-year" in print.
- (spelled with the number zero): alternative sexual identity for men attracted to other men but avoiding anal sex in favor of non-penetrative sex.
Interfemoral intercourse and genital rubbing, although notionally forms of outercourse, can carry a risk of pregnancy through transfer of the sperm-bearing fluids to the sex organs.
- Kate Havelin (1999). Dating: "What Is a Healthy Relationship?", Capstone Press.
- Isadora Alman (2001). Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex, Conari.
- Sexual Risk Factors. aids.gov. URL accessed on March 4, 2011.
- Morton, Mark Steven (2003). The Lover's Tongue: A Merry Romp Through the Language of Love and Sex, Insomniac Press.
- axillary intercourse - Dictionary of sexual terms
- Constantine, Peter. Japan's Sex Trade: A Journey Through Japan's Erotic Subcultures. Tokyo: Yenbooks, 1993, p. 75. ISBN 9784900737006.
- Fulbright, Yvonne K. (2010). The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking, Quiver.
- Alan Brauer & Donna Brauer (1991). The ESO Ecstasy Program: Better, Safer Sexual Intimacy and Extended Orgasmic Response, 24–25, Warner Books. "Masters in Johnson … described female orgasm as "a brief episode of physical release" characterized by either "a series of rapidly recurrent orgasmic experiences between which no recordable plateau-phase intervals can be demonstrated or by a single, long-continued orgasmic episode… status orgasmus is may last from 20 to more than 60 seconds""
- Patricia Taylor, PhD thesis (2000), In her PhD research study, the average time spent in an EO session was 54 minutes.
- M., Hodge, Evelyn Blackwood, Jeffrey M. Dickemann, Doug Jones, Frank Muscarella, Paul L. Vasey, Walter L. Williams (2000). The Evolution of Human Homosexual Behavior. Current Anthropology.
- includeonly>Piepenburg, Erik. "What's Rub Got to Do With it?", 'Out', February 2006. Retrieved on July 4, 2011.
- Joe Perez (2006). Rising Up, 248, Lulu.com. URL accessed July 4, 2011.
- includeonly>"Queer Slang in the Gay 90's". Retrieved on 2007-04-13.
- Carpenter, Humphrey (1981). W.H. Auden, a biography, Volume 1981, Part 1, Houghton Mifflin Co..
- g0ys.org -GUys into gUys - not gAys
- Matt & Andrej Koymasky - Gay Slang - G
- Ann van Sevenant (2005). Sexual Outercourse: A Philosophy of Lovemaking, Peeters.
- Ian Kerner (2004). She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, HarperCollins.
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- Frot Man2Man Alliance promoting non-penetrative male-to-male sexual expression
- "Great sex without intercourse", NVSH (contains graphics of sexual acts)
- Mutual Masturbation - A biographical collection of personal data for a psychological and sociological study of mutual masturbating as it relates to the habits for both men and women.
- Clitical.com: Mutual Masturbation Female mutual masturbation
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